Frozen
by Meloko
Summary: In the episode Solitudes, what if just Sam had been trapped in Antarctica…..


TITLE: Frozen  
  
AUTHOR: Meloko  
  
EMAIL: faithz_angel@hotmail.com  
  
ARCHIVE: my website is http://home.talkcity.com/BoxOfficeBlvd/cleopatra- 1st/stargate.html and any who wants it.  
  
CATEGORY: Angst, AU  
  
SPOILERS: Solitudes, The first commandment, Singularity  
  
SEASON/SEQUEL: Season 1 RATING: PG  
  
CONTENT WARNINGS:  
  
SUMMARY: In the episode Solitudes, what if just Sam had been trapped in Antarctica...  
  
DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine; the actual story and idea is mine, but the characters and name etc, don't belong to me.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This has nothing to do with the Season 6 episode, as o haven't even seen it, and in the UK! I began writing it before I heard about the episode and thought the title suited the fic so much I didn't want to change it! Ironically, when I started this fic, I had no idea where it was going and then as I began to write it, the idea occurred to me!  
  
Frozen  
  
I feel heavy, my muscles ache to the very bone and I can barely see the path ahead of me. I want to give up. My body needs to but instead, I keep on going. I know they'll never find me. I am alone and I will die alone. I bite back the bitter cold that chills my very existence and I slowly turn back to see how far I have come. I weep as the wind whips my hair into my face and I am momentarily blinded. What I see, is nothing. Even my footsteps so recently stepped, have been wiped clean. It would appear as if I hadn't moved at all. Have I? The winds hold so much force against me; it would not amaze me if I'd only continually moved back and forth.  
  
My old tears have dried and frozen, now they claw into my skin and I can feel my body temperature dropping. Its slowing down and I wonder whether I should stop. To just curl up in a ball like a hedgehog and go to sleep. To put an end to my misery. There is nothing left. They don't know where I am and they will never find me.  
  
I wish I could give them one last message. To tell Jack that he's been a great CO and I wish I could have got to know him better. Teal'c, my most loyalist of friend, who has proved on more than one occasion he is willing to die for one of us. Daniel, my confidant, who I can fully trust with anything. I will never see the woman Cassie will grow into. I will never get to amend things with my dad and never see my nieces and nephews grow up.  
  
Never.  
  
As my mind attempts to go through the list; I realise that I need to see them again. The mere thought of never seeing them ever again, terrifies me. I have to go on. I look in my backpack and find the last bit of my chocolate bar and bite it. The energy it gives, somehow lets me have the strength to go back. My only hope is to get the DHD working, I realise now that I am just loosing strength, just walking out here. The cave is slightly warmer than the bitterness of the wind and I am heading nowhere.  
  
I turn round and hope that I have not changed direction from my initial start so I don't get lost. I shake the fear away and head back. I have achieved nothing but the motivation I have now is strong. I can do this and one way or another, I have to get home. I have so much still to experience, so many worlds to see, all equipped with their separate problems. I even want the impossible ones I am given, provide an adrenaline rush while I try to figure them out and a buzz when I solve them. I need and want them. I am on the most important mission the world has and someday I might have to fight to save its very existence.  
  
I want a child. When I held Cassie in my arms my mothering instincts were in overdrive but I am not ready quite yet. I thought then I would have all the time in the world. Now I wonder whether I will ever be a mother. I want love, real love and to finally walk down the aisle. To be with the man I love and maybe the next time (big if!) then he will not turn into a crazed dictator who kills those who disobeys him. I was engaged to the new age Hitler, and its worries me constantly, if it was me that drove him there? I shake that thought out of my mind.  
  
Positive thoughts Sam.  
  
I will find it. Hopefully, one day I might have a normal life but at the moment, my job is the most important thing. The buzz is what I want and I'm kidding myself if I think I could give it up now. I'm not ready to resign my adventurous lifestyle and especially not after all I've worked for to get to this position, I can't help but feel I deserve it. I hate the whole classified business, I know it's necessary but I just wanted to tell my dad, to let him know I'm doing much greater things than 'space telemetry'. I'm actually in space, travelling through the galaxy at a mere step through a gateway. I am proud to be part of the program and even prouder that I helped set it up. My friend, my teammate, cracked the greatest of mysteries and now we are trying to save our world from mans greatest threat. Sometimes when I turn on to the news and see all the wars, every bit of me wants to scream at them that it's pointless. We fight amongst ourselves when a more powerful threat could strike at any time and we must work as a whole that we are all citizens of one unified world. Earth.  
  
Home. I miss it. The safety I felt there and all the people I love. Mostly I loved the fact that whatever planet I was on, I knew I could always come back home. Its human nature, I think to need a place, which they own, and only there do they feel secure. Now all I can imagine is my small house in Colorado Springs, decorated in the way I chose and holding all my possessions with a fire. Warmth. I crave for it, even if it burnt me. Anything to warm me, anything but this.  
  
I try to smile but my face is too stiff, my happiness is because of what I have just seen. The entrance to the cave, not quite home, but I'll take anything at the moment. Anything to slow down the inevitable hypothermia setting in. I look down and see my bags and my fire long burnt away. I am forced to concentrate, as the rocks offer no grip to my slippery snow- ridden shoes. Being careful to place each foot securely on the ledge but I can no longer see any safety. I begin to lose the grip I have, and then my balance. I can feel my self-slipping; I cry out as the rocks claw into my face when I slide past. I try to protect myself with my hands but I can sense the hopelessness as I continue to fall. Then suddenly, the surface ends and I am thrown violently. I cry out to no one, as I quickly fall through the air. I hit hard and my world blackens.  
  
~  
  
"Carter" I hear from afar.  
  
Everything feels so distant as if I'm in a dream. I'm surrounded by the simplicity of the whiteness but I keep feel as I'm being forced back. The voices remain constant and continue to shout my.name. One voice stands out above the others, I recognise it but I can't quite put my finger on it.  
  
"Sir" I finally manage to mumble.  
  
"Carter" I hear, this time louder.  
  
I call "Sir" out again. It hurts deeply but I need to be heard, to be.. saved.  
  
"Doc, she's over here" I pick up.  
  
My eyes flutter as I feel a warm breath near my face.  
  
"She's still alive," he announces as I barely catch his eye.  
  
"Hey Sleepy head, you had us worr." The rest blurs out as I feel the pain take over and pull me back to the whiteness. This time I am happier. They'd found me and perhaps I haven't quite missed my chance yet... 


End file.
